I’ve been typing and deleting words for this blog over and over again. I’ve written in the middle of the night, waking up in London at 3am, thinking that I just found the right words – but they were written in an emotional half asleep state that I didn’t want to publish them. So I deleted and wrote a new version, another late hour after coming home from a night with friends and got all emotional again. So I deleted them once more. How can you address your personal feelings in public without sounding like you were fishing for support, when you don’t even have real problems. I read stories of other people’s lives all around the globe and fate and think how can I even think that I’m having troubles in life – don’t be such a loser and stop whining. Look at my life. It would be total hypocritical and self beweeping to post such a set of photographs and say it actually makes me sad.
Maybe I have to say just one thing – Life through the lens is never showing all sides, especially when you have to select the images, decide which ones to show. You can always pretend having a great life when you highlight only the moments where it seems like it. We all have a long fight ahead, a fight to be heard, accepted and rewarded for what we do in life and it’s sometimes hard not to give it all up and say fuck it. I try to stay honest and personal, documenting my life but it’s just that perspective of how I want to see it. So it’s always a sugarcoated version. Like, I don’t take many photos of the things I don’t look at. Life is not a fairy tale and I will try even more to include that in my work.
But now, let the photos do the talk.
back in august. the gspusi days. selfies are not my thing. I don't like taking them. this is an exception. It was a happy moment crossing the street. No time to adjust to the camera. I didn't tell her, I just took it. It wasn't set up to look happy. I think the way many people photograph themselves today shows how self centered and superficial we've become. Today people actually see their faces on the screen while they take their selfies and they take hundreds of versions to publish only the one they like the most and this just adds to the fake virtual reality.
I had another shot on the roll, so I went for another one. It's interesting how expressions change, once you're aware of being photographed.
you don't see it often that someone buys a 16mm camera these days.
since my hexar is resting in peace since half a year and my 35mm lens for the leica was broken... I had to go wtih my 21mm lens - but I just think it's too wide for my work... at least it made me use the rolleiflex a little more again.
it's in the eyes
when there is one thing you need but didn't bring...
waiting in the staircase for the rain to end (used that Konica S2 again)
dinner with dad
it's in the DNA
this is what I think of 2016
no make up, no time to prepare, not even coffee yet
a man with a sad story
hashtag vs real life
Back when everything was new, exciting and undefined. I didn't know what I was doing. Only now I can see it's true quality. Looking at the photo doesn't make me have a connection to that moment. That's something new and refreshing to me. As if there was a magnetic field around this piece that just gets stronger the closer I'm trying to get to her. To me this photo leaves so much freedom to interpretation, yet when I look closely it tells me much about her. Having so many clear photos of my life, often makes it hard to keep a memory that is not attached or even dictated by the photos I take. When you love someone and take their photo, doesn't mean that you can capture this love with the photo, all you do is remind for yourself: this what it looked like. Not with this one, it's more than just a simple reminder of a brief moment.
back to where I belong
when laura meets minu
and bon voyage to paris!
coffee with yaeger
coffee with waelti
that last minute deodorant
adopting to the new severin having a hexar again, meaning I'm taking a shit load of photos again (thanks fabain for borrowing it bro!)
make yourself happy
witnessing the birth of a macbook air
well, it works as a mirror too
welcome to apple
wondering what's the world out there...
welcome to vienna
the days before the chairs
business on the phone
the most expensive way to eat an apple
train to hainburg
photo by Julia
some piglets were born
these two didn't survive the night
so they were buried
when you have a hairdesser in the family
one photo left on the roll
when a great personality meets that last half hour of daylight.
thank you for being so awesome Marcus
it's hard to believe that my mother on the right, is the grandmother of Emily on the left.
ready for taking off
when family meets
those big eyes
when a long barkeeping era ends.
to the other side of family
better to be on the safe side
before the play
after the play
on the bike with padre
good session with Patrick Pat Schlegel
waiting for that forelle
back from italy, back to life
no pain no gain
best of 3
the first good bye
gleich gehts los
for the last time
for the first time
love my hood
lower austria is not vegan
fucking liars! (when there is no chocolate on the ice cream)
love girl gangs
the photo session with the one and only swintha was looong due
the tram was actually moving, so the shadows changed really quick. one shot and I'm glad it turned out.
that famous laughter. I can hear you Swintha!
so much to choose from
at prosi, exotic supermarket
when you have something in common
getting ready for holidays. lots of catfood, negatives from the lab to scan, blueberries and new camera. interesting bag too
getting to know the AT1
when you have a sentence in mind when you take a photo. you know which one.
getting clean in athens
father and daughter at mama roux (nice day for a panf)
shooting the shooter
At Aliki's. Really wish we would have found the time for some portraits. next time!
when you end up in a place you'd normally not go but need the toilet. so we stayed for a tea. switched to portra800 so I can take something with me.
the way down to the toilets
never used portra800 in sunny condition. it's a great film I've to say - but pricey.
last minute printing documents for the new life in germany.
after quite a walk to the second hand place, she found no satisfaction. sorry for posting ;)
so we got some sweets to dry the tears
behind the scenes
almost missed our ferry because these kittens got our attention for a while
leaving the harbor
some strange island on the way
pick up area
ferry rides are like time holes
checking the tan
it was a bit rainy at first
Julia always took ages to compose, focus and decide when to take the photo. It's also normal when you just started shooting film.. I still found it really amusing when she just stood there and took so much time to take a photo. she took good photos though, so all worth the wait.
did I say a bit? that day we spent inside
good to have a great airbnb in this case
one of the greatest views on the island
a cute couple at yacht club
arriving at one of the most beautiful beaches of the island
one afternoon I took the moto to a place we've passed a few days before. back then I didn't bring my camera to save film. So that day I went back and reached the place when the light was just perfect. Nobody was around. What a great scenery.
getting back to yacht club after an amazing ride with the bike
always wondered what f22 at minimum focus distance looks like on the rolleiflex.
never knew ducks went to greece
beautiful shot by Julia
our little house was just perfect..
after we had no more motorbikes, we walked. the wind was blowing the map away - time for a photo.
we were walking between the bushes. I saved my roll for the last sunlight.
that day, with nobody around. it felt like the island was ours
these planes were circling the island a few times. on our way back I took that shot.
Julia ran out of film with the canon and really wanted to take that shot and I think this is again worth sharing!
both starving, we entered one of the first taverns we found
the serifos days were almost over.. we decided to take some last photos
the first time we saw that basketball court, we knew we'd take photos there
I wanted to get a different perspective, so I woke the monkey in me
receiving good news from the other life
it's funny. I've never been truly satisfied with the photos I took of her. it's almost that I'm afraid of reaching that point where I say, that's the one.
another way to secure your moto
the serifos days were over
back in athens
our bags. the last photo
back in the vienna appartment. having a new guest
as we streched the holidays to the maximum, Julia was preparing her move to Munich the next day.
everyone still half asleep
riding the baby chair
finally some coffee enlightenment
bye bye little shooting star!
fast forward to munich.
only the most important books
a new world record attempt in doing laundry in a day
not much else left to do
homeless in munich, the holy bible and an oktoberfest hat.
the weather made us stay inside all day
on the way back to vienna. were the extra 10km worth that service area?
pipi pause in the rain
back in viennas orient express
this is not banana juice
sharing is caring
waiting for the husband
fast forward to piccadilly line
london. popstars are waiting
just once, I wanted that typical shot
she found her shirt
smelling that chicken all day
bam oida nice light
soho what else
more kimbo product placement
haribo macht kinder froh
Laura Owens at her show in front of her works
when daddy is your superhero
rethink what a phone can do - like exploding?
sorry not sorry
only if avedon could see this
"gravity is overrated"
that building never ceases to amaze me. i took a very similar shot about 12 years ago.. not sure if i can find that file again... shot with canon powershot a40 back then..
everytime I see school uniforms, it triggers me. (no pun intended)
at tate restaurant
preparing for that middle finger
chloé and francesca, my new italian friends
a brief moment
although we never met. this one is for you henry/i
a quick look at frieze art fair
everyone seems important
flower should make you happy
just a reminder how fucked up the world is
more picturesque homeless
view from my way overpriced hotel room
A United Kingdom, sounds paradox these days.
this is all about expressions
not the animal video dodo kind
so close you can almost taste it
that Reiter Raabe, Richter and Oehlen shot
I ran out of film. All that was left were some frames on a apx100 roll.. and I end up in this crowded underground. So I just thought f2.0 1/30th let's give it a try.
I actually took this crowded train the wrong way, because I was so drawn to the scene that I took photos and forgot to check the direction. So I went back and did the same all over again in another packed subway.
found some kodak trix - saved me once again.
scenes like these I try to capture. street photography is not just a series of spectacular juxtapositions and splits of seconds, not to me.
there are so many kinds of parents
back at frieze art fair. this time I spent a little more time to dive in that coterie.
meanwhile in regents park
well.. it's never ending.. so after an hour outside, it was time to get in.
enjoy the tour
on my way to frieze masters
the evolution of the book
hanging around with some picassos
the beauty of exhaustion
on the way to the airport
back in vienna. surprised to see Julia, although life just crossed for a very short moment. once again, last shot and no more rolls left... then i checked there was still 10 frames in the Konica S2.
getting a bite before taking the train again.
that S2 I bought for 30€ is a really cool camera.
cafe industrie another place where time stood still
Jacqueline on the decks
woracziczky, beim besten wirten mit dem bro!
does it make sense?
giulia, new home
feeling the plush
new way to get fat
preparing home cinema
busride to graz
oh the irony
you can tell, it's an italian place
Julia at work
every theatre as a smokehouse
Tamara in the boy is mine
a view I just like to remember
Empire by Milo Rau. all I can say is thank you. I felt so humbled by this play.
the play left me in a very sad mood. I don't know why they posed like that for someone else, I just instinctively took the photo. the antithetic to how I felt.
another good bye
she's got the looks
a party night ahead
next day. recovering.
claudia and the whole world behind her
the last nice day in austria
here the story ends
I keep documenting my life like an addict. I try to find truth in the photos I take and I while I look at them I’m realizing it is the same story again. The difference is that it just looks different. I lose friends and I find new ones, I get to see places and I have to leave again and by taking photos you fool yourself in believing you can’t lose them. I’ve been doing this the last 10 years now. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without having all these photos. How would I memorize my life without them. My head is exploding with all these memories attached to these photos. All I do is freeze time, like homages to moments, homages to people in my life. It’s a gift and it’s a burden at the same time. It’s harder to let go, It’s harder to accept things that changed, when you have such beautiful reminders you can look at. These photographs have no power to change anything. I feel betrayed by them, I feel naive thinking I could preserve things. Photos don’t have that power. They just take you back in time where you can’t go back, all in your imagination. When I started doing all this more than 10 years ago, I wasn’t prepared to reach this point of overstraining.